One For You and Two For Me

Have you ever waken up one day and realized that you've gotten fat? I don't mean, "Have you slipped on a couple of extra pounds over the winter?" I mean, "Have you ever fallen face down in the extra pounds and rolled around in them until you were covered from head to toe?" What a depressing realization!

Of course, the problem-solver in me wants to trace my predicament back to an identifiable root cause. After all, every effect has a cause, right? As I pondered my growing wasteline, I realized that in addition to my lack of regular excercise, I've become a pretty selfish person.

Dessert time is one of life's simple pleasures. Whether it is a chocolate chip cookie, brownie, cake, cinnamon roll, pie, strawberry shortcake, or any other temptation, my response is always the same. When dessert time rolls around, my mind starts dreaming up ways that I can get more than anyone else. If I could make the arrangements at dessert time, it would be, "One for you and two for me"!

Unfortunately, my wife has been too accomodating toward my dessert consumption-generally showing much more restraint and leaving that last morsel for me. Since I haven't been training for any long distance runs, those extra cookies and cinnamon rolls have me quite out of shape. (Although, my friend Randy often reminds me that "round is a shape").

As pathetic as this sounds, I must confess that my One For You and Two For Me Attitude has crept into other areas as well. For example, when it wasn't desserts, it could have been, "One hour of sleep for you, and two for me, honey." Or, "One movie choice for you and two for me." How about this one: "One dollar of spending money for you and two for me." Every where I look, I find more examples of how selfishness has moved right in and gotten cozy in my life.

If I'm going to fulfill my two unique roles, selfishness can't have any part in my life. My wife and my son deserve better. Hopefully, as proof of the change, you'll start seeing my wife and son getting fat and me getting skinny. If not, it's probably a sign that I've found a loop hole and decided that "One small brownie for you and one big brownie for me" is a fair system too.