10,000 Kisses

Three months ago, there was much apprehension in our home as we anticipated the pending arrival of our little miracle. The concern was completely superficial but we honestly wondered whether we were going to have a freakishly ugly child. Our thought was that if he received genes from each of us for our most prominent features, then he would be a scary blend of the two of us.

The biggest fear was that as biased parents, we would be blind to his troubled appearance. After all, what parent has ever been objective in assessing their own child's cuteness? We were resolute, however, and agreed that we would remain objective and not label our child as "cute" as so many other parents have mistakenly done.

I'm sorry to say that it is time for an online intervention! My wife has gone off the deep end. Her love and adoration for our son has gone over board. Not only has she renamed him as Cutie Pie, but she has begun pummeling him with kisses nearly every moment of every day.

Constantly, through out the day, my son is subject to her non-stop kisses. She kisses him in the morning when he wakes up. She kisses him when she changes his clothes and kisses him when she wipes his nose. She kisses him when he smiles and kisses him when he frowns. He gets kisses before meals and after snacks.

Perhaps it is jealousy that motivates my rant. The poor child has been kissed more times in the past three days than I have in the past three years! His skin can't handle it--his whole head is going to get chapped! Please help! She's lost her objectivity. Andrea has become a typical mom!