A Few of My Favorite Things...

...About My Wife!

In the spirit of maintaining a "PG" rating on this blog, I've modified the list to exclude the more "intimate" favorites--after all, this is a public site! For those of you who know Andrea, I'm sure you'll have a similar list of your own. Listed in no apparent order are my favorite things about my wife:

1. Master Storyteller: For Andrea, it's more about the journey that she takes you on rather than the destination. If you know a shorter route, keep it to yourself--she's got a story to tell. Actually, she has a story for your to live with her. When I tell a story, its to convey facts. When Andrea tells a story, it's to convey feelings so get ready for a rollercoaster ride that will have you angry, sad, embarrassed, frustrated, surprised, disappointed, and excited. Where will she take you next?
2. Academy Award Winner: One of the reasons she is so gifted as a storyteller is because she's great at impersonating people--especially kids. In otherwords, she doesn't just tell you what so-and-so said--she shows you how they said it. If you close your eyes, it's as if they're in the room with you.
3. Comedian: Andrea loves to see others laughing. In fact, some of her favorite people are those who have a hearty, easy laugh. The only thing that makes someone's laugh sound better is if it got kick started by Andrea herself.
4. Principled: Speaking of laughing, this reminds me that Andrea has some very strong convictions and principles that guide her life. For example, it is a known fact that there are three types of laughing that you can do: [1] laugh AT someone (at their expense), [2] laugh WITH someone (this is an earned laugh), [3] laugh FOR someone (as in a sympathy chuckle). A recent study of Andrea's laughter revealed the following statistics: 50% of the time she is laughing AT someone (physical humor is the preferred cause), 50% of the time she is laughing WITH someone (references to physical humor is the preferred cause), 0% of the time she is laughing FOR someone! No sympathy laughs! It's a rule she lives by. So, if you want to make her laugh, you'd better be funny or clumsey.
5. Adventurous: When I first met Andrea, I would have characterized her as a picky eater. Today, she has dramatically expanded her list of tolerable cuissine. She's willing to try new things. Most people are totally closed to change but Andrea handles it fine (most of the time).
6. Expressive/Honest: You never have to wonder what Andrea is thinking. She wears her heart on her sleeve and will be honest about what she's feeling. That's a good thing when you are relatively dense and part of the male population.
7. Sensitive: When friends are hurting, Andrea somehow knows about it--often before anything has ever been shared. She is very sensitive to how friends are feeling and is eager to help in some way.
8. Action Oriented: Do something--don't just talk about it. I'm sure it can be maddening to be married to a "planner" like me, if you are a "Driver" personality type like Andrea. However, I definitely benefit from her push sometimes.
9. Multi-tasker: Don't just do something--do serveral things! Doesn't work for me but she seems to be good at it. I'm not sure if she's a great mom because she can multi-task or she can multi-task because she's a great mom. Either way, they're both true.
10. Shared Memory: Names, birthdays, phone numbers, calendar events, commitments--Andrea remembers all of these things for me so I don't have to. That frees me up to remember the important things for her like: which movies we've watched, where we've been on vacation, which teams we root for, etc. Without her, I'd be lost. Without me, she'd be a Notre Dame fan that watches the same movies over and over.
11. World Class Chef: No, she hasn't studied at a fine culinary institute or apprenticed under a master chef. She's just naturally good. In fact, of all the cooks in the kitchen, her meals are the ones I look forward to most. As my steadily expanding girth will prove, I eat pretty well at home!
12. Best Mom Jaden could ask for! What more is there to say. There's no one on the planet that knows Jaden better. There's also no one I'd trust more to raise my kids.

So, as you may be starting to realize, she's the full package! And just think: these are only a few of my favorite things about her. Hopefully, you now understand why I say, "I'm a blessed man".

"Daddy, I think I grew."

Tonight as we were getting Jaden ready for bed, Andrea picked out some pajamas for him that I immediately objected to because they looked too small for him. "No, they'll be fine," she insisted. Initially, I questioned her spatial skills but eventually relented and went to work squeezing him into his bedtime britches. When I was finished, I quickly realized that Andrea needs her eye balls adjusted and Jaden needs some new drawers! See for yourself...

Unconditional

I was thinking the other day about how awesome my son is. He has been an absolute joy for the past three or four months. Prior to that, he was fussy, needy, difficult…and yet still, an absolute joy. It may be a little premature to judge my little fifteen pound work-in-progress but I think I can say with confidence that he will be an absolute joy forever. I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that even if my son turns out the be a little monster that strikes fear in the heart of Sunday School teachers everywhere, I will still love him. It’s hard to believe that in such a short amount of time you can decide that your love is going to be unconditional.

But then again, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because that’s what I’ve received from my dad for 29 years. It never mattered how poorly I behaved or how frequently I disappointed. It made no difference how many times I deserved a spanking or provoked a fight. My dad loved me unconditionally. It wasn’t based on my report card or my batting average. It wasn’t a reflection of my talents or my interests. I now understand that my dad loved me because somewhere along the line, he decided to love me regardless of who I became.

Someday my son will be too big to tickle torture and the wrestling match will end in his bragging rights (unless I cheat). There will come a time when the hugs and the kisses will stop and snuggle time will be no more. Inevitably, the “I loves you” will become something he thinks rather than something he says. As a dad, all of this will be a okay as long as he can go anywhere, do anything, become anyone, and still know that I love him. That’s what my dad gave me and that’s the kind of multi-generational wealth that I hope to pass along to my kids.

Thanks for the legacy dad! I love you and hope you had a great Father’s Day!

Irrational Fears

Have you ever been deathly afraid of something that you know doesn't have any business scaring you at all? I'm talking about fears that just don't make much sense. They could be certain circumstances or objects or sounds that send shivers down your spine. Your heart rate quickens and your senses are hightened and all that adrenaline is stemming from completely irrational fears.

Of course all of my fears are completely rational and built upon legitimate concerns. For example, I fear a broken neck so I don't let anyone come close to even touching my neck. This way no harm can accidently befall me. Consider the consequences of a broken neck and you'll have to agree, it's something to watch out for. Others have tried to claim that this fear falls in the irrational realm and have attempted to cure me with touch therapy. Their approach was to wrap their hands around my neck like they were strangling me until I got over my fears. This brings me to my second and third fears: strangulation and incompetent therapists.

Rounding out the list of completely logical fears would be spiders (I was too young when I saw the movie Arachnophobia), snakes, and chinchillas. Look at this freaky little thing! What is it? Is it a squirrel? A mouse? A Rabbit? Make up your mind! Look at those beady little eyes. I think he wants to bite my neck...

Though my fears all make sense, my wife is stricken by some unhealthy and illogical fears. Andrea has a habit of locking her car door everytime we find ourselves along side a shady looking character in the lane next to us. This sounds innocent enough but what if I told you that she does it when we're driving at 45 miles per hour?!? Apparently, in her mind, this dangerous hombre might possibly jump out of the car that he is driving and onto our car where he could open her unlocked door, swing inside, and do all sorts of terrible things to us. So, the danger is eliminated by locking her door as soon as she sees his car. I don't let her watch movies any more.

Andrea's locked car door has always been a source of great entertainment and fun for me but today, she provided new ammunition. Because it was warm today, we had our front door open so that the sun could shine through our glass storm door. At one point, we began hearing a strange sound that Andrea described as two birds fighting. When she tracked the sound to its originating point, she discovered that a young bird was trying to get into our house. It kept jumping and fluttering at our glass door but was obviously getting nowhere. It was quite a sight and I couldn't help but laugh at the harmless little creature. Andrea, on the other hand, locked the door!!!! I couldn't help but laugh at my frightened little wife and her irrational fears!

Mr. Fix-it

Yesterday, I got to spend the day with [Andrea's] Uncle Mike as we began tackeling a home repair project that was so far over my head I didn't know which end was up. As you may know, our house and water don't mix well and we've now had our third water problem since moving in three years ago. Though I'm not supersticious, many have claimed that water problems come in groups of three so I'm actually very optimistic now that we've run this "hydro"-gauntlet and lived to tell about it!

This time it was the shower in the master bath that took a shot at our home repair fund. A couple weeks ago, I came downstairs to find a large puddle on our kitchen floor which, we later realized, had dripped from the ceiling above. Apparently, a key piece of our brass shower drain had broken and left a gap for water to pour through into the ceiling below. A quick call to Uncle Mike and my education was underway.

I won't bore you with the details of the project but instead document my observations and lessons learned as I hung out with Uncle Mike.

1. Begin with the end in mind. Stephen Covey said this first but I got to obverve it in Uncle Mike's approach to the project. When we got started on Saturday morning, I quickly realized that the project had already started in his head several days earlier when he first stopped by to diagnose the problem. Since that time, Mike had spoken with a dry wall expert and a retired plumber to talk through the game plan. He knew exactly what was going to happen before we ever started cutting out drywall.
2. No wasted steps. This is probably a result of combining years worth of experience with lesson number one but it was quite a sight to behold. I don't think I've ever seen a home repair project go so smoothly. There was not a single extra step taken during the day. It was as if he was following a written instructions manual in his head. I've heard that master chess players are constantly thinking several steps ahead. I wonder if Mike plays chess?
3. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. As we were making a run to the store for plumbing parts, Mike stopped on the side of the road to check out a lawn mower that had a "Free" sign on it. My spirit quickly connected with the poor homeowner whose mower quit working on him so he just put it out on the curb rather than put it in the trash. I'm one of those people with a "throw away" mentality: "If it doesn't work, pitch it and buy a new one." Mike, on the other hand, is the guy that cashes in on the ignorance of us, "throw away" people. After a quick inspection, he threw the mower into his truck to take it home and check it out. When we were back to a garage and had access to some gasoline, Mike quickly diagnosed the problem by taking apart the carburator where the gas just leaked out of the engine. His hunch was that the "float" in the carburator was not functioning and might need to be replaced. If this story turns out like the last lawn mower rescue he made, then he probably just got a nearly new lawn mower for the cost of a few dollars worth of parts and the puddle of gas that went right through the engine. So, my conclusion is: DIRTY HANDS + WORKING BRAIN = MONEY SAVED.
4. Everything has a place and a purpose. Early in the morning, I realized that I was beginning to have tool belt envy as I worked with Uncle Mike. He had his tool belt and other equipment so organized that he could send me after a specific screwdriver and could tell me which one it was in the pouch. Every task had a specific tool and every tool had a place. My own tool collection is rather dismal and terribly unorganized. I quickly remedied that problem by cleaning out my tool bag after Mike left. Now, every tool has a place! By the way, I am proud to say that the one tool I got to contribute to the cause was my hack saw. It had never been used before (at least not in the task it was designed for) so I feel that I have come through some sort of "right of passage" into the world of the handy man.

It will hopefully be a long time before I need to call upon Uncle Mike for help with a repair project but until that time, I'll be working on implementing these lessons into my life. So, if my hands are a little dirty next time I greet you, ignore the grease and think about how much money is still in my pocket!

Mother's Day Thank You

Mom-

I guess that this year, Mother’s Day has a new meaning in my life. For the first time ever, I have had a brief but clear glimpse at the world through the eyes of a parent. I now see what kind of love and sacrifice it costs to earn the title of Mom or Dad. I’ve experienced a taste of the long hours and tremendous energies that are spent every day. I’m realizing that great parents are great givers.

I also now understand that with all of that giving comes very little thanks along the way. Sometimes the unexpressed "thanks" is due to a lack of awareness—after all, the best of what a parent gives is not accompanied by much fanfare or attention. Occasionally, pride stands in the way of a thank you and often it is laziness that stifles an expression of gratitude. Other times, thanks is not given because we just don’t realize how inexpensive it is to offer.

Unfortunately, the quantity and the quality of the thanks that I’ve given you in the past has not been proportionate to the giving that you’ve quietly done for 29 years. In hindsight, even when I have taken the time to say thank you, it has not been based on a true understanding of how important a great mom really is. With new awareness, I now rectify the problem by offering the Mother’s Day honors and thanks that have been due to you:

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!

I love you.

Have Your Pets Spayed or Neutered

Last summer as I was mowing the lawn, I ran the mower over what looked like a pile of loose fur covering a large divot in the ground. After passing over the hole with the lawnmower, I swiped at the pile with my foot so as to toss it into the air where it could blow away. To my shock, at that moment, there was an explosion out of the hole as 5 baby rabbits leaped out of their concealment and scattered before my eyes.

After letting out a rather girly squeal, I quickly looked around at the adjacent back yards to see which of my neighbors had witnessed my embarrassing display of terror. Fortunately, no one was around so I quickly grabbed a shovel to coralle the little fur balls into a group until I could decide what to do with them.

After much deliberation, I decided that in honor of my baby (still in the womb at the time), I would let the rodents live as long as they got out of my yard. Unfortunately, baby rabbits turn into big rabbits and then they do what rodents do best - they make more rodents!

Here we are about a year later and to my dismay, I found another conspicuous hole under our pine tree the other day. Having awakened my memory of the last surprise, I grabbed my shovel and went to uncover the creatures that lurked just below the surface of my unsuspecting suburban lawn. This time there was no eruption from beneath the loose pile of fur. In fact, there was barely a sound from the 8 newborn rabbits that I found in the hole!

Now that the initial tenderness of becoming a dad has worn off, I had to come up with a plan to get rid of the little varmints. These ones weren't cute yet so disposing of them wasn't an emotional hurdle at all. After much creative brainstorming, I decided that I would help support someone who has an interest in one of my hobbies (see below in Hobbyology post). I chose to feed the rabbits to the hawks!

In a nearby neighborhood, there lives a falconer with his own hawk. Hawks have to eat and I had to get rid of some rabbits. It was a match made in Heaven (or Hades if you're one of those animal activist). After all, what better opportunity to live vicariously through a local falconer. Anyway, in case you're wondering, the rabbits were dead when they got devoured so I wasn't completely heartless.

Anyway, this story should serve as a warning to all of you: have your pets spayed or neutered...or I might just feed their offspring to the hawks!